Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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