just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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