Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
