it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
