ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
