My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
