ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize