i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
