Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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