i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
