i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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