well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
