It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
