I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
