If i come over, it means nothing
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
