In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
