So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
