My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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