I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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