I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
