Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
