First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
