lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
