Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
