Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
