you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
