so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
