is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize