I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Randomize
