Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
