So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
