Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize