Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
