between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
