This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
