I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
