Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
