Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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