barbara walters just said penis...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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