Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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