I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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