Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
