He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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