Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Too much gin, very little bucket
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
