just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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