His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
