if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
