He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
