Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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