"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
