So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
