I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
