well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
