If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
