so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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