it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
