I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize