You really coming over, don't trick.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
