hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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