I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
