Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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