I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
