So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
